i dont expect…
hindi din ako
nag aabang…
hindi ako umaasa..
hindi ako naghahangad…
o nagyayabang man lang…
di ako humihingi… pero humihiling
ganyan naman talaga ang buhay diba?
hindi ka dapat umasa, hindi ka dapat maghintay
humiling ka lang na sana masaya ka sa buhay na iyong tinatahak
pero diyos ko po LORD sana siya na nga!
It seems a bit absurd, the feeling you get on the things that you face day by day. the feeling of a monotonously -heavy voice fixated to your good ear, like a repeating echo which shutters your very core. what is more amusingly painful is that you feel everything BUT you know it is NOT there! that simple feeling of lonliness, post mortem depression so to speak, picture this -you are on a crowded place yet it seem you are left all alone. You know every single one in the room but you feel nothing! yes my friend that is the same torment you feel when you fall on the lair of depression, and what scares me the most is that when you fall you hit hard!-so hard that the excruciating fall maintains its numbness, the everclear feeling that resounds to you again and again, that all of a sudden you feel nothing. What you will hate about it the MOST is that you dont know what to do about it at all! THE BLACK HOLE OF EMPTINESS- so neat that you feel agitated, so silent you feel the noise, so monotonously blank! and all you here with people who realy are concern for you is blah blah blah blah blah… this shit is what i felt every single day and the cure? i think there is still no known cure… YET! no amount of love nurture by the family, no single amount given by friends, no element in this world can cure these illness, it is within me and it remains there, brooding its way to my soul! what maintain as my medical treatment is the thought that someone is selfishly and willing, to watch me suffer as i die, thanks and i love you. im forever greatfull to myself.
